esbat | 𝔒𝔭𝔢𝔫 𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔱

[ The service in the mountains suck. How the hell anyone could expect to load a website let alone make a call in case of emergency was beyond her. October has zipped by and thankfully, no random drop-ins by their parents or any mishaps with Old Lace with her whole dinosaur thing means it's – normal? Is this normal? Maybe for runaways, but Karolina doesn't think too deeply on it.

The plan was to get to the library half an hour away and zip back to their 'humble abode' without being caught. Of course, on the way out – Nico catches her and now, they're two girls off on their own errands. It was pretty interesting to roam the almost empty rows of books, but when she finds one – Samhain for Simpletons – she'll grab it and slide it into her bag without too much attention.

She's nervous, of course, worried that Nico might suspect why she wanted to head into town. Thank God, there was a gluten-free bakery nearby. Perfect guise. It takes around 30 minutes for Karolina to return to the car they may or may not be 'borrowing'. Standing outside with her messenger bag and probably already snacking on a donut by the time Nico returns. ]

Mmpffh, hey. Ready to go back? I got enough donuts for the weekend to keep Molly happy.

[ Nico, for her part, is blissfully unaware of Karolina's plan. She's held her beliefs for a long enough time now, but she's used to the fact that the end of October means Halloween for the vast majority of people, and to her mind, that includes Karolina and their other housemates.

Still, she's glad to be able to go into town. She needs a few things for her own Sabbat plans - candles, a photo frame, a few other assorted odds and ends - and she's able to pick them up without too many problems. She catches herself idly browsing through the shelves at the pagan shop, though, and before she knows it, it's been close to 35 minutes. Nico curses under her breath; she's probably keeping Karolina waiting.

She's relieved, then, to see her girlfriend - she can call her that, right? - leaning against the 'borrowed' car with a mouthful of donut, looking perfectly content. A teasing smile plays at the corner of her lips, and she leans over to kiss the corner of Karolina's mouth in greeting. (She tastes like sugar.) ]

To keep Molly happy. Uh-huh. I can totally see that's your number one priority here.

[ Girlfriend is way better than the eternal 'it's complicated' that she's felt for most of her life. Complicated that her feelings are a bit more delicate and weird than she'd like — or so she thinks. There's never a moment where she doesn't miss Nico, so having her along was a blessing. She's thankful, but still stressed out over it.

Karolina nearly beams (in a non-luminescent way) when she sees Nico return, eyes wide and lips curved into a smirk even with a damn mouth full of donut. Hastily, she swallows it down and wipes the back of her mouth right before the peppered kiss is offered. ]

Hey, this place had a four out of five star on Yelp — it's pretty much verified for being the best donut shop in town, okay. I just had to sample it! Not everyone digs the whole gluten-free or vegan trend. [ Would Molly? No clue. Her free hand reaches out, gentle with a brush of her fingers to Nico's. Moments like that came too easily and she'll feel silly later for it. Being themselves was still a new topic, strange and freeing. Curiously, she eyes Nico's bag. ] You look like you made out like a bandit.

[ She listens to Karolina defend herself with a smile, because it's too cute, she's too cute. So cute that Nico thinks she could honestly just watch and listen to her talk forever about something she's passionate about. (Maybe with some kisses stolen between the words.)

Still smiling at the thought - mental images that will never be spoken aloud - she catches a couple of the fingers that brush against hers, her own curling loosely to keep them there, and her other hand hefting her bag a little higher. ] Yeah... literally, in some cases. [ Her smile becomes a little sheepish, and she shrugs. ] I had to turn some heads with the Staff. So I guess I can't do "don't notice me" spells anymore... But I got everything I needed.

[ And then, she frowns slightly. ] ...Did you? [ Because, unless Karolina is holding something extra in her messenger bag, she seems to have only come all this way for donuts. Which doesn't seem right, somehow, not even for a four-star Yelp rating. (Plus, if she managed to keep Karolina waiting while she just browsed for a half-hour and change, she'll be mortified.) ]

[ Her nerves were shot, defensively trying to keep the focus on donuts or on Nico's doing. She'll take the brunt of that no problem — the least she could be blamed for. Maybe there's a bit of sweat on her forehead from how nervous she feels — don't mess this up, Kar — she thinks to herself. ]

Okay, we're totally going to have to get you playing Words with Friends or maybe I can go grab a thesaurus for you — [ Her magic was still unknown to her but she tries to get it. Tries to help when she can. Words and implications were two tough subjects and she doesn't want Nico wasting them. ] Or I can light show next time in a super covert way. It'll be our first heist.

[ There's a small panicked smile on her face as she shrugs her shoulders — turning as if she's ready to get back into the car. ]

Donuts and was going to hit up the thrift store, but nah. Nothing worth lifting. — Ready to go?

[ She cuts herself off, not as slick as she'd like. ]

[ Okay, so that settles it - Karolina is definitely hiding something. But it's okay. Nico trusts her, knows that the other will come to her when she's ready, and so instead she just offers her a smile.

Sure. Let me take these so you have your hands free. [ She takes the donuts and moves to the other side of the car so she can get in too. ]

Words with Friends might be a good idea if we can get service. [ It's said with a wrinkle in her nose, a look of distaste on her face. She can live with having to scavenge and steal here and there, but the lack of a useful phone sucks. ] If not... maybe a thesaurus would help, yeah. [ It's not the first time she's considered it, especially lately, having learned that each spell only seems to work once. But then again, there's so much even she doesn't know about the Staff...

As much as she is still beyond excited at the fast, powerful results it gives, sometimes Nico prefers her simple, somewhat more predictable magic, magic when banishing negativity one time doesn't bar her from ever banishing it again. ]

[ She'll pass the donuts off, but keep the bag. In fact — she's even quick to take lead on driving!!! Her scurry to get in the car and get back was clearly different, she tosses the messenger bag in the back, but in the sweeping motion — the flap comes undone and opens up. The "LTONS" visible as the book half slides out. The cover decor was brilliantly dark with symbols Nico may find familiar. Either way, Karolina is none the wiser as she settles and forces a quick smile on her face. ]

Whatever we need to do, we'll do it. Short of community college English classes. Heard those are a bust, anyway. [ It's a teasing, supportive joke. They need to all be their best, you know? If Nico needs help, Karolina would do anything to assist. ] Maybe online classes.

[ Nico settles in her seat before she turns to put her own bags in the backseat, and her eyes narrow in interest as she spots the book sliding partially out of Karolina's messenger bag. She has no idea what the letters might mean, but... that's definitely half of a pentagram, and a couple of runes, and...

She turns back to the front of the car. She didn't see anything, she reminds herself. Whatever Karolina is hiding - whatever (surprise?) Karolina is planning - she knows the other will tell her when it's right. And if it is a surprise, the last thing Nico wants to do is ruin it.

And so instead, she focuses back on the conversation, her face becoming a mask of distaste at the joke about community college. ] Yeah, I'm pretty much never going back to school if I can help it. Maybe online classes... or lots of reading.

[ The engine barely cranks over and gets a good start. The slight rumble of the carframe unnerves her, but hey – it got them here, it'll get them back. She hopes. ]

Does this mean I get to be a study buddy? [ Sounds cute. Karolina's nose practically wrinkles at the thought. ] Even for dumb online classes or light reading?

[ Karolina is so cute. Nico can't help the smile that forms on her lips, nor can she help herself from reaching over to take one the other's right hand in her own. Her grip is light, allowing Karolina to pull away to put both hands on the wheel if she feels that she needs to. (Because in all fairness, she probably should have both hands on the wheel. Nico just wants to touch her, though.) ]

Of course, if you want to be. [ She tries to give her an escape on this too, because... well, who would willingly put themselves through extra study? But still, Nico finds herself hopeful... ] It might be kinda boring, but hey... [ If I'm with you, I'll enjoy myself no matter what? Yeah. No way she's saying that one out loud. ]

[ Look, they also should be doing a lot of other things as opposed to running away and living in the mountains, but hey – hands on the wheel are the least of their concerns. Little gestures like that do mean a lot to her, eases her own concerns and makes her feel – light. Different than her other form that was light itself. She beams a smile that she feels almost embarrassed to have right after. ]

We're partners in crime now, what's a little more added to the list?

[ "Crime" was loose but she knows the sentiment. The roads were pretty easy to navigate, but Karolina checks the rear view every so often. A shiver of paranoia to ensure they aren't followed – culty parents would do that to you. ]

Boring is good – after everything.

[ The smile makes her smile too, the expression feeling almost too big on her lips. Nico, for her part, isn't feeling particularly concerned about their parents - or anyone - following them. She usually would be, but something about being out shopping with Karolina (and knowing the other has some kind of surprise in store for her, to boot) fills her with a certain kind of confidence. It's not really standard for her, but she likes it. ]

Yeah... you're not wrong.

[ The last... however long, Nico is barely keeping track of what month it is anymore... it's been rough. All the running, hiding, fighting... and more than once she's been left terrified that she'd lose Karolina through it all. A little peace is... well, it's strange, but Karrie's right, too; it's good. Affectionate, she squeezes the hand in her own. ]

I so wish I had that on video.

[ Karolina has to tease her. It was moments like this that mean the most to her. She didn't have to put on a brave face, didn't have to act normal. Nico was always the one she felt drawn too – and something as simple as the squeeze of her hand makes her heart creep up her throat. A few words slip out instead – ]

Doesn't mean we can't have the simple things, though. Molly was asking about Christmas already.

[ Nico chuckles, shaking her head slightly in response to the teasing. ]

I'll say it again so you can record it, if you want.

[ She doesn't mind at all. It's nice just to be silly, to enjoy being young and not have to worry about all the stupid shit they've had to deal with recently. Nicer still to be able to do so with Karolina, who has become a constant in her life in a way she never could have predicted. ]

Christmas? It's still October...

[ She sounds skeptical, but in reality, the idea of doing something with her family - her real family - for Christmas... it sounds nice, and she can't help the affectionate smile that tugs at her lips even as she complains. ]

[ She makes it easy to rib her when she goes along with it! Eyes off the road only for a brief moment, she glances for those stolen moments of a rare smile on Nico's face. Karolina was not experienced in this whole stuff – dating, girls even – so she goes along with it as best as she can without overthinking. Without wondering if she was going to mess this up.

Part of her knows how much Nico has been through, more than what weighs on her. There's pity there, but also a warmth that wants to blanket the mage in comfort and hide her from the rest of the world. A light that Karolina feels harder and harder to dim. ]

I know, but department stores started Christmas sales since July. Can't really blame her – [ And swerve, their car turns up a road away from the main traffic. If they filter through enough streets, they'll find themselves on the road up to the mountains. ] No vacation out of state for the holidays, but it'd be cute to decorate the HQ, right? Just to make it feel more...

[ Like a home, unspoken. ]

Like home.

[ Nico's not afraid to say the words, squeezing Karolina's hand in hers once more, turning her head to offer her a real, proper smile, and she knows even if Karolina is watching the road, she'll see it out of the corner of her eye at least. It's all so true for Nico, too. They have a lot of learning to do, but at least they can learn together.

Together, like how they've dealt with everything so far. Because every time Nico feels like she might get lost in her own darkness, somehow, Karolina's there to light her way back home. ]

We should do something, yeah. We can find a tree, get some decorations... hell, maybe we can even all find a way to manage presents for each other.

[ She can already think of some stores with clothing Karrie might like, or maybe jewelry... is it too soon in their relationship to buy her jewelry? ]

[ Ignore her as she runs a stop-sign looking at her gorgeous girlfriend who pulled some ESP stuff on her. Thankfully there was no cop or innocent civilian to see it. Gotta love the "suburbs". ]

Make it a real Hallmark Channel one. We even have our own Grinch-y thing with Old Lace. [ She's teasing, of course. Just as Nico talks of presents, her mind races to the book in the back. Sure, it's not much of anything pertaining to Christmas but – if she can get a book... imagine what else she could get Nico? Kar isn't a total sticky-fingered thief, but she's willing to go there for her girl.

Oh...

Her face turns red at the thought – her girl. ]

I'll even take a quiet morning with no drama as a nice present. Sleep in a bit later too – ahhhh. I'm getting ahead of myself!

[ Nico honestly doesn't even notice Karolina run the stop sign, primarily because she's far too busy trying to perfect the art of staring from her peripheral vision. Every day that goes by, she can't help but notice all over again how gorgeous the other girl is, and it makes Nico more and more determined to keep her eyes on Karolina as much as she possibly can. Of course, that means she sees the way her cheeks suddenly go red, and she inclines her head, curious, a little grin playing on her lips. ]

Gonna tell me what's making you blush, Kar?

[ All that other stuff sounds wonderful, of course, a real Hallmark Channel Christmas and a quiet morning in bed, but first, Nico has a mystery to solve. ]

I could... but that'd just make it seem even more lame.

[ There's a weak deflect there, one that was not even too hard of a struggle. Maybe she wants to bring the topic up, but a small little light inside of her blinks out. Karolina wishes part of her could be outspoken like Nico and Gert, but – she plays it cool. Plays it casual. ]

Would a generic 'you' be good enough?

[ Nico thinks about that for a moment, lips pursing as she mulls it over - and then, a slow, playful grin comes to her lips. ]

You know what... no.

[ There aren't many people in the world with whom she feels comfortable being like this - playful, flirty, silly. She may be one of the more outspoken members of their group, but when it comes to her feelings, Nico plays her cards close to her chest. She always feels like Karolina is so much more self-assured when it comes to the two of them, more confident of her feelings in general, and so seeing her flustered is... new? cute? comforting? all of the above? Her smile still very much on her lips at the thought, Nico raises her elbow to nudge her gently, never once letting go of the hand in hers. ]

Lame or not, you should tell me, Karrie. You'd make me tell you.

[ No was not what she expected. It was totally – sudden. As if the walls of the car was crushing in like some campy adventure movie. She stepped on the booby trap and now the boulder was one big awkward confession of her feelings. Fortunately, the book and why she was at the only library was left on the back burner. ]

Okay, okay! What I may or may not do is totally... a variable. But – because it'll be a long ride back if I don't...

[ Teasing or not, she feels Karolina's hands tighten a bit. ]

I just – this is all new. Exciting and new. I've never had the chance to just be who I am. Glowing, girly, and gay. [ Is that too on the nose? ] Sometimes I wake up and wonder if it's all just some dream. Yeah, this... isn't the life we thought we'd have but – it's good with you. I feel like I have you, even if everything else is unsure. There's no dream, just you.

[ Nico feels the tightening of Karolina's fingers around hers, and for a moment she considers telling her that it's okay, that she doesn't have to tell. After all, the last thing she wants is to make her uncomfortable. Nico knows more than anyone how difficult it can be to talk about feelings. But before she can, the other girl is forging ahead, and Nico listens, the small smile on her lips growing broader.

She wants to kiss her right now, but that might get them into a car accident. So she settles for lifting Karrie's hand, brushing her lips against her fingers instead. ]

I remember... I remember the night of the gala. You said that you could be honest about who you are. [ And who she wanted to be with. ] And I didn't... I guess I didn't understand it, then. What you meant. But I do now, and. I wouldn't trade this for anything. Everything that's happened with our parents, all the horrible shit we've done...

[ I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, because it led me to you. ]

None of that matters now.

[ It's like her breath was stolen from her. She feels as if she's floating away if not for Nico's hold onto her. The gentleness the girl offers – how could anyone think she was cold, cruel, and just sad? There was such warmth to her that even an embodiment of light felt burned by the touch. ]

You help me be the person I want to be. [ Even if she feels tears tug at her eyes, she steels onward. ] It's not some fairy tale, you know? Not some ... knight or princess. It's bumpy, it's unsure – but never with you. I don't think our story is. It's... it's kind of the realest thing in Cali for me, you know?

[ The words warm her heart, and Nico chews momentarily on her lower lip. She can see the tears at the corner of Karolina's eyes, and she squeezes the other girl's hand again. Thankfully they're getting nearer to home again, because the urge to kiss her isn't abating. And now, after that, Nico wants to hug her so tight that neither of them can breathe. ]

Maybe not knight and princess. Witch and princess, though, I think I like that.

[ Her smile reappears, a slight hint of a tease in her expression. But everything else... yeah. Nico agrees. Not in words, because she's kind of used up all the words she has for this right now. (Karolina would disagree with her, but Nico's said it before and she'll say it again - she sucks at this kind of thing.) She hopes the squeeze of her hand is enough to convey it all. ]

Not the typical heroes of a story, but I don't think we're wearing capes anytime soon.

[ It almost was like they were playing pretend. Was it selfish of her to be okay with that? The teases Nico offers tightens her chest, makes her head feel light – and as streets turn to miles and road turns to dirt, they get closer to 'home'. The conversation remains light, happy – an escape Karolina desperately needed.

When the car rattles to a stop, she just sits there. ]

How long do you think we're going to be here? In this place.

be gentle

always! (p.s. I think it's so cute that she's trying to learn about Samhain)

sob sob

no tears; you're killing it

you're killing ME

how? why?! /gentle panic

shhhh

shushes goodly

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